Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (NIV)
“I’ll just die if I don’t go to that party!”
I suspect many of you who are reading these words are having flashbacks of the time you said this to your parents. Or perhaps you recall the time you heard that argument from your teen.
The concept of choosing the right friends is something we try to instill in our children. They, of course, interpret our instructions as an attempt to ruin their lives.
It’s human nature to want to be friends with the “cool” kids, even as adults. Even as we explain the issue to our kids how running with the wrong crowd could lead us into sin or even dangerous situations. The classic argument from the church kids (in a loud whining tone): “But I can be a witness to him.”
Adults have used that excuse, too. Especially when it comes to dating.
If you’re a Bible-believing Christian, you probably tried to explain to your child Paul’s words in 2 Cor. 6:14 where he warns us not to be unequally yoked. Maybe you even used the illustration of an ox yoked together with a donkey. They have nothing in common. The ox might want to plow the straight line, but the donkey is ready to head for the barn.
The same is true if we have friends who are not Christians. Or may call themselves Christians, but their lifestyle is not the same as yours. I don’t drink. I can’t spend time with a friend who only wants to drink. In school or on the job I have had friends who used bad language. I don’t like to hear it, and while I may be friendly to them in the school or work setting, I can’t hang out with them. The language is offensive to me.
But can’t I be a witness to them? Of course I can. But think of the friend who likes to cuss. If I spend a lot of time with him or her, I may or may not be able to influence them to calm their language. I know from experience, however, that listening to those words all day plants a seed, and the words come unbidden to my mind and possibly even to my lips.
Our goal is to draw them up to where we are spiritually, but unfortunately it often happens that they pull us down instead.
I understand that from a Christian point of view we feel as though we’re obligated to stick with that difficult person. I’ve been there with a work friend.
But there comes a time when we have to take care of our own spiritual life. Is your family life being disrupted by this friend? Do you feel stress in the relationship? Most of all, have you sought God’s direction in this circumstance?
We’ve all seen stories on news shows about people who have been at the wrong place at the wrong time. The classic example is the person who drove the getaway car for her boyfriend and sait in the car as he and another friend robbed a store. She said she didn’t know what they were doing, but the old adage is true: ignorance is no excuse. She was an accessory, whether witting or unwitting, and she did jail time.
The most extreme story I’ve been a part of was many years ago when I worked for a social services organization. One evening I heard on the local news that a girl’s dead body had been found. She had been murdered and an attempt was made to burn the body.
Didn’t see that one coming!
We may not have stories that extreme, but who we hang around with does matter.
We lecture our young people about the importance of their reputation and character that could be destroyed in a moment by a “friend” who leads them astray.
As adults, we are just as vulnerable, and much as we might love our friend, sometimes we have to draw a line.
Take my advice. Never drive the getaway car for your boyfriend. And don’t help your “friends” burn a body.
