The Comfort Zone
I spent 12 years of elementary school and high school as the shy kid. I was socially awkward and definitely not one of the “cool kids.” That was followed by two and a half years in college being socially awkward and shy. The pattern continued throughout my twenties and into my thirties.
I still consider myself to be an introvert, though many people who know me would say otherwise. In fact, I once told my Sunday School class of senior adults that I was shy at heart. They didn’t believe me. ThenI told my Wednesday night elementary girls class the same thing, and they laughed at me!
How I’m able to “fool” people in this way is a testimony to God’s work in my life and to His leading that brought me to one of my favorite areas of service.
Even in the midst of painful shyness I often found myself in a position where I had to speak in front of people. It began when I was 14 or 15 years old and volunteered to teach a VBS class. True, they were kids, but it was out of my comfort zone. From that time on though, teaching Sunday School or Wednesday night kids’ classes became my passion and nearly fifty years later I continue to teach.
Most astonishing to me was my decision in the tenth grade to join the Speech Team. To this day I have to believe it was the Lord. This was a forensics team. We went to competitions with other school districts. What was I thinking?
During my first event I sat in the classroom and listened to the other speakers with a sense of disbelief. Was this a dream? Could this really be happening?
When I realized I was up next my internal struggle became an all-out battle. “What am I doing here? I can’t do this!!” Against my better judgement I didn’t run screaming from the room. I got up and gave my inspiring, informative speech about the potato. It wasn’t the greatest, but it wasn’t too bad. I was hooked. And for the next three years I participated. One year I even went to semi-finals. Alas, I never won an award.
I continued this journey out of my comfort zone in my last semester of college. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow I found myself taking a course that included a debate. I spent the semester at Simpson College in San Francisco. Talk about a fish out of water! I was obviously the country girl, and I never really fit in.
Nevertheless, there I was, not in front of a room of 10-12 people to deliver a speech, but in the college chapel service with an auditorium full of my peers. My debate opponent spoke at machine gun velocity, and her arms flew above and around the podium at a similar speed. This was not out of character for her, but this morning er caffeine consumption appeared to be off the rails. I don’t remember the topic of the debate or what point of view my partner and I took, but according to the exit poll of students, we won the debate. Not on the merit of our facts or the undeniable logic of our arguments. Honestly, we weren’t that great.
No, we won with a little help from my snarky attitude.
When our opponent finished her high velocity speech, and it was my turn to rebut, I just couldn’t help myself. The snark came out, and my first words were:
“Well, our opposition certainly has a lot of energy.”
It brought the house down. And I will believe to my dying day that those words won the debate.
At that moment someone I didn’t know possessed my mouth. Someone fluent and clever and – snarky. But as soon as the debate was over, I retreated back into my shell.
I’ve never understood how that works. How do I manage to come out like a lion when the need arises? Recently I heard an explanation that makes sense to me.
I heard a man on a writer’s webinar talk about his own shyness. It’s not uncommon in people who are in the spotlight. Do a Google search for “Shy Celebrities” and you’ll be amazed at the names that come up. At the top of the list: Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp and Beyonce. The speaker on the webinar went on to say that these performers are able to put on a persona. A mask, like the ancient Greeks did in their theaters.
That made sense to me. I teach Sunday School like an extrovert because that’s the role I need to play (a lot of help from the Holy Spirit doesn’t hurt either). When I make myself walk up to a visitor and introduce myself, or when I walk around and chat with people before church, I’m doing what I need to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to chat with my church family. I can’t go quite that far with walking up to a visitor, but it’s something that is necessary, so I do it. When we have a church fellowship, and I talk and joke with everyone else at the table, that’s also something that I have required myself to do.
The introvert in me would much prefer to sit at a table or a pew by myself and not talk to anyone. Can’t I be the official church wallflower? All this other stuff is way out of my comfort zone. Left to my own devices I would stay in my house and not talk to anyone. And yet . . .
I would love to be able to go back to high school and compete on the speech team again. I’ve learned how to come out of my shell. I’ve learned to push the envelope of my comfort zone.
Is this what God requires us to do? Why wouldn’t it be? How can we obey His command to tell others about Jesus if we stay in our box? How can we reach out to people and bear one anothers’ burdens if we are too self-centered to care? Our Father makes all things new.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
That includes our comfort zone!
You may be thinking, “Wait a minute. Isn’t that putting on an act? Isn’t that hypocrisy?
Don’t worry. I’ll deal with that aspect of putting on a mask in next week’s blog!
For now do something that is out of YOUR comfort zone this week!
